Your Vs You're

I'd like to make my stance on this subject public.

Your - the possessive form of "you"
   Your face is ugly.
   Your life is meaningless.

You're - a contraction of the words "you" and "are"
   You're giving me a headache.
   You're retarded if you can't understand this.

I have a suggestion...

All of the unemployed in the US who support the immigration laws in AZ should take the jobs of illegal immigrants.

For all you college students and high school seniors, beware!

Super Advanced Math and the Solution to All Energy Woes

I'm taking an undergraduate class on Discrete Mathematics these days. Of course, as a result, I am now bogged down in the basics of predicate logic and set theory a genius. Incidentally, I can flip the world of mathematics on its head. Check it:

In the domain of all real numbers,
Let x = y (1)

(2)    x * x =  y * x                            by (1) * x
(3)    x² - y² =  xy - y²                               by (2) - y²
(4)    (x + y) (x - y)  =  y*(x - y)        by factoring
(5)    (x + y)  =  y                              by dividing by (x - y)
(6)    2x = x                                       by substituting y with x
(7)    2 = 1                                        by dividing by x

So there you have it, a formal proof that 2 = 1. What does it mean? This is unsurmountable evidence that numbers are complete gobbledygook. I know this in part because of this undeniable proof, but also because I'm a freaking genius. When you're a genius, it's easily to feel isolated, like you're the only person on the face of this earth who's worth a damn. It sure makes raping and plundering a lot more conscionable, but sharing the booty amongst my vast genius is lonely at times.

Therefore, I will condescend to share one of my secrets with you guys. As a genius, I know how to harness the completely fuckshit world of math to produce energy in abundance. It's simple, really. All you need is water.

...well, water and this website.
Essentially, when you split water molecules, you end up with hydrogen and oxygen and a whole lot of it. The hydrogen can be readily burned in a run of the mill combustion engine, like the one in your car.

What's really happening at the fundamental level is beyond the realm of electrolysis, the commonly accepted form of splitting water. In electrolysis, you have to put in more energy than you could ever actually expect to harvest from the gases produced. Something to do with the Second Law of Thermodynamics. But don't you see? laws are made to be broken! I mean, I just shattered your conception of numbers with my genius. Surely, I can shake your vague conceptions about conservation of energy.

You see, Stan Meyer's technology is wonderful because it revolutionizes the concepts of energy. It was thought that you could only agitate the bonds of a water molecule in certain planes, or degrees of freedom. It was believed that there are only 5 possible degrees of freedom in nature, but what Stan discovered is that there are really more like 115. His favorite degrees of freedom to oscillate in include the 14th and the 63rd, which he affectionately named Bill and Sarah, after his children. He found out that with some household items and a trip to home depot, you could create all the tools you need to agitate water in these 14th and 63rd degrees of freedom. In so doing, you are capable of releasing 2,000 times a much energy as before.

The best part about this technology:
This stuff really works! I use it to power my bicycle, because I'm sick of pedaling to get places. All I need to do to fuel it is toss some tap water in the tank. I get 5,000 miles to the gallon. And if it rains, I practically never have to stop.

WHAT? I have a BLOG?!

First of all, fuck you all! So what if I neglected this webspace for the entire semester. It's my blog! Get off my back!

What are you, my mother?

my grandmother?

mother of pearl?

Anyway, it's been a hell storm of a few weeks for me as far as schoolwork goes and I'd really like to lash out on you readers for all of my mental anguish. Sadly, I don't think anyone's actually reading this, so I might as well punch a wall or do pushups or something to vent.

Now while I don't have the time to do any kind of photoshopping due to previously discussed time constraints, I do have some pretty cool images of human hair from one of my classes. I guess I'll post them... and all of my xanga friends can see the nudie pics of me in this post as well. The following information accompanying each image is completely true. Trust me. I'm a doctor.

This is an image taken by my x-ray vision channeled into your every day all-purpose webcam. Here you see the inside of a human hair fiber. The brown streaks are shit stains from me wiping my ass with this human's head. The globular features in the middle are cultures of little alien people, like the kind you see stuffed in Will Smith's locker in Men in Black. No, they did not enjoy getting my shit smeared on them.

This is the surface of the moon. Each slab imaged here is roughly the size of the Continental USA. Evidence of water is yet to be found.

This is a twig coated in mucus. So I hocked a loogie on a stick and called it pretty; don't judge me! Like we established, you're not my mother.